Whenever she initial questioned me personally easily’d be thinking about using her along with her heterosexual cis-male lover, I wasn’t in search of a three-way. I needed to explore gender with femme-presenting women.

We noticed lovers whom looked-for thirds ways numerous others carry out, as questionable and simply contemplating their particular gains – because the dreadful unicorn hunters.

But her information had been nice, and I realized, ‘why don’t you?‘

I’d no knowledge about threesomes with bi-curious lovers. I’d merely come out a year prior as a bisexual and polyamorous woman after covering for several years, and leaping from a single monogamous right link to the second.

Being bisexual delivered the usual labels of being ‘dirty‘ for enjoying both women and men intimately.

Being polyamorous and participating in casual sex designed I was as well promiscuous, maybe not mentally committed enough, and branded a cheater before we even came across for a coffee.

Becoming plus-size with a human anatomy image/eating ailment just increased the feelings of inadequacy and pity for exactly who i will be.

When she messaged me personally, advising myself she thought I happened to be beautiful, and asking us to satisfy this lady along with her spouse for a drink and view exactly how we felt, we took the chance.

Two lips as opposed to one, four hands in the place of two worshipped my body system, and I all of them. And for the first-time in an exceedingly long time, we believed desired, attractive, and desired. And first and foremost, we decided i possibly could ultimately be me.

U

nicorn shopping
is
a term that describes
partners, typically cisgender, bi-curious types, seeking a 3rd to join them for sexual play. This
3rd
, aptly named the
‘unicorn‘
for observed rareness regarding existence, is actually preferably a cisgender, thin, femme-presenting bisexual or bi-curious lady, a person who is unmarried, pleased with no Strings connected (NSA) arrangements, and will also be intimately special making use of couple.

I’m not a real unicorn when I’m maybe not solitary, sexually unique, nor thin.

My primary spouse phone calls me a rainicorn alternatively. I’ve found the expression endearing as rainicorns (stirred by

Adventure Time

) can be bought in all kinds of colours, forms, and personalities. We thrive on becoming a 3rd for partners, getting their unique intimate fantasies your without any additional strings of an emotional connection. I take fantastic enjoyment in becoming the object both of them need.

Intimacy, for me, are but a delightful time, a quick nights enthusiasm with no further objectives.

Anti-unicorn hunting is promoting from a necessity to emphasize the harms many bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting ladies experience if they are hunted by lovers for potential three-ways. It frequently encourages throuple and triad conditions without one-off sexual activities to be sure the legal rights of all included.

And I obtain it. Bisexual ladies are typically painted as promiscuous, intimate things, intimately fresh, hyper-sexual, and thought getting up regarding and all sorts of sexual intercourse, including three-ways. Many are maltreated from this training of hunting, and therefore can not be reduced.

The thing is though, i’m almost all of those ideas. Becoming a unicorn happens to be the best devote which these elements of my personal identity which are regularly coated as misconceptions about bisexual people are respected.

Given that feminist philosopher Ann Cahill indicates, to not be intimately objectified, instance in the example of fat women, is seen as being denied a sexuality and permission to savor delight, one thing to which I have believed firmly in most of my entire life.

Adopting this identity features allowed us to look for sexual fulfillment in a different collection of methods, and to engage my personal hyper-sexuality, without reject it.

Im sick of folks speaking for me, assuming that I am usually at risk of exploitation about sheer premise of my bisexuality and femme-presenting gender. That being hunted suggests i’m constantly prey. That i need to usually desire a deep, intimate, and on-going commitment with one or two as opposed to anything relaxed.

W

hile we are coated as ‘rare‘, In my opinion there might be a lot more ladies like me in hiding. After all, precisely why would I or anyone wish to arrive ahead openly as a unicorn, whenever message boards and the like paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting‘ and simply trying to ‘spice upwards their unique dull or boring gender resides‘?

In which does that keep those of us whom enjoy getting part of those dynamics just like the hunted?

Whenever shaming these lovers happens, we’re in addition shaming the unicorns which take part in these procedures. Our company is producing the narrative which bi-curious NSA three-ways tend to be viewed as always naturally problematic experiences, as well as strengthening the idea that women just ever before desire romantic hookup, that we cannot possibly be contemplating merely gender.

We must start area and get aware from the assortment of intimate encounters. We could possibly take part in a selection of sexual practices and involvements, and also for many of us bi-women, being promiscuous, ready to accept NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, just isn’t an awful thing.

Neither is it an inherently bad representation of bisexuality a lot more broadly. Most likely, it is really not the representation that is the problem, it is the manner in which it is weaponised.

Sadly, the anti-unicorn ‘community‘ is performing a really fine job of pathologising myself, and women like me, because we dare decide to accept elements of ourselves being viewed as a ‘problem‘ by others. Because we dare as ‘bad‘ bisexuals.

I am a bisexual ‘rainicorn‘.

And that I don’t exactly like becoming hunted.

We fucking think it’s great.

Rainicorn operates in analysis, focusing on figures, sexuality and gender, intimate methods, and health and well-being. She identifies as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic lady, and it is sex positive, kink/fetish good, and fat good. In her own extra time, she likes decorating and producing songs, therefore the delectable delights from the carnal underworld.

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